Auctioned for charity
Being "sold" in a controlled setting for charity purposes. Short Explanation: "Receiving" means you are auctioned as a submissive; "Giving" means you arrange the auction scenario.
Interested in exploring Auctioned for charity with your partner?
Start Your ChecklistBeing "auctioned" within BDSM contexts involves consensually offering oneself or one's services to be bid upon, typically at kink community events, with proceeds benefiting charity organizations. This practice combines power exchange, exhibitionism, and community service in a unique format that has become a tradition in many kink communities.
The auction itself is a form of objectification—the submissive becomes something to be purchased, their value determined by bidders. This can be intensely erotic for those who enjoy that dynamic. The charitable component adds meaning beyond the scene itself, transforming personal play into community contribution.
This guide explores how charity auctions work in BDSM communities, considerations for both those being auctioned and those bidding, and how to participate safely in this tradition.
Understanding BDSM Charity Auctions
How They Work
Charity auctions in kink communities typically occur at organized events like dungeon parties, leather gatherings, or community fundraisers. Volunteers offer to be "auctioned"—putting themselves up for bids. What's being offered varies widely: a scene with the person, a service like massage or boot blacking, a date, or other negotiated activities.
An auctioneer conducts the bidding, often with theatrical flair appropriate to the community context. The winning bidder pays their bid amount (usually to the organizing group, which donates to selected charities) and receives whatever was offered in the auction.
What Gets Auctioned
Scene time: A bottom offering themselves for a scene, or a top offering their skills.
Services: Non-sexual services like boot blacking, rope work, massage, domestic service, or other skills.
Experiences: A dinner date, a mentoring session, teaching a skill, or other time-based offerings.
What's offered is clearly defined before bidding begins. This protects both parties—the auctioned person knows exactly what they're committing to, and bidders know what they're paying for.
The Charity Element
Proceeds typically go to causes important to the kink community: LGBTQ+ organizations, AIDS services, domestic violence shelters, or other nonprofits. This tradition of service reflects leather community values and provides meaningful fundraising that benefits causes many community members care about.
Safety and Consent Considerations
For Those Being Auctioned
- Define your offering clearly. Specify exactly what you're offering—and what you're not. Vague offerings create misunderstandings.
- Set limits before the auction. Your hard limits apply regardless of who wins the bid. Make these known to organizers.
- Reserve the right to refuse. If the winning bidder is someone you're not comfortable with, you should have the option to decline. Discuss this with organizers beforehand.
- Negotiate details after the auction. The specific scene or service details should be negotiated between you and the winner, using standard BDSM negotiation practices.
For Bidders
- Understand what you're bidding on. Pay attention to what's actually being offered. "A scene" doesn't mean "any scene you want."
- Expect to negotiate. Winning a bid starts a conversation, not a conquest. Standard consent and negotiation apply.
- Pay your bid. Bidding creates an obligation. Only bid what you can actually afford to donate.
- Respect timeframes. If the offering has a time limit, honor it.
Organizational Responsibilities
- Vet participants. Organizers should ensure both auctioned individuals and bidders are known community members in good standing.
- Provide oversight. Have monitors or dungeon masters available for scenes that result from auctions.
- Handle disputes. Have a process for addressing problems that may arise.
The Experience of Being Auctioned
The Psychological Appeal
For many submissives, being auctioned fulfills fantasies of objectification and being valued. Standing before a crowd while people bid money for your company or services creates a potent mix of vulnerability, exhibitionism, and validation. The explicit assignment of monetary value can feel intensely objectifying in an arousing way.
There's also satisfaction in service—knowing that your submission contributes to causes you care about adds meaning to the power exchange. You're not just playing; you're doing something meaningful for the community.
Preparing to Be Auctioned
Consider what you want to offer and why. Are you comfortable with whoever might win? (Remember, you can set limits on this.) How will you feel if bidding is low versus high? Process the emotional implications beforehand so you can enjoy the experience.
Some events encourage auctioned individuals to "present" themselves—brief performances, demonstrations, or descriptions of what they're offering. Prepare something that represents you authentically.
After the Auction
Meet with the winning bidder to negotiate specifics. Treat this like any BDSM negotiation: discuss interests, limits, health considerations, and logistics. Schedule the scene or service at a mutually convenient time. Follow through on your commitment—the charity has already received the funds.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I don't like the person who wins my auction?
This should be addressed with organizers before you participate. Most events allow auctioned individuals to refuse specific bidders or to decline after the fact, though policies vary. Never feel obligated to engage with someone you're not comfortable with regardless of their winning bid—your consent cannot be purchased. The donation may still stand, or refund policies may apply depending on the event's structure.
Is this prostitution?
Legally and conceptually, charitable auctions differ from prostitution. Money goes to charity, not to the individual being auctioned. What's offered typically focuses on BDSM scenes or services rather than specifically sexual acts (though this varies). That said, local laws differ, and events are structured to stay within legal boundaries. If you're concerned, discuss with event organizers how they've addressed legal considerations.
How much do people typically bid?
Bids vary enormously based on the event, the community, and what's being offered. At smaller events, bids might be $20-100. At larger fundraisers, bids can reach hundreds or occasionally thousands of dollars. Your "value" at auction doesn't reflect your worth as a person—it's affected by who happens to be in the room, their budgets, and countless other factors.
Can I participate in charity auctions as a newcomer?
Most charity auctions occur at community events that require some level of community involvement or vetting. Newcomers might attend as observers before participating. If you're interested, connect with local kink communities, attend events, build relationships, and express interest in participating in future auctions. Organizers want to know participants before including them in public events like auctions.
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