Being used/treated as a sex toy
Being treated as a sex toy or object for a partner's pleasure. Short Explanation: "Receiving" means you are the object of pleasure; "Giving" means you treat your partner as such.
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Start Your ChecklistBeing used as a human sex toy represents a form of consensual objectification where one partner serves purely as an instrument for the other's pleasure. The "toy" partner sets aside their own sexual agenda, existing entirely to fulfill whatever their partner desires—being positioned, used, and enjoyed without expectation of reciprocation during the scene.
This dynamic appeals to couples seeking extreme power exchange, where one partner's complete submission manifests as literal objectification. For the "toy," the freedom from having to perform, decide, or even be a "person" can be paradoxically liberating. For the user, the partner's complete availability creates unique intimacy.
This guide explores the psychological depth of objectification play, how to implement it safely, and ways couples can use this dynamic to enhance their connection.
Understanding Objectification Play
The Psychology of Being an Object
For the partner becoming a "toy," appeal often includes: freedom from performance expectations (they need only be available, not skilled), release from decision-making (they go where placed, do what's directed), the intensity of being wanted purely physically, and the meditative quality of existing without ego involvement.
This headspace—often called "objectification space" or similar—resembles other forms of subspace but with distinct qualities. The person isn't serving, submitting in the usual sense, or working to please. They're simply being used, which creates its own psychological state.
The User's Experience
For the using partner, the appeal includes complete freedom to pursue pleasure without managing their partner's experience, the power of absolute availability, and the particular intimacy of a partner who trusts enough to surrender completely. Some describe it as the purest form of dominant sexuality—desire without negotiation in the moment.
Safety in Objectification
Pre-Scene Negotiation
Thorough negotiation before scenes is essential. Discuss: What acts are the toy available for? What positions might they be placed in? How long might the scene last? Physical limitations (joint problems, breathing issues)? What's the safeword and how will the toy communicate if they can't speak?
The "toy" isn't actually an object—they retain all rights to safety and can end any scene. The fantasy of complete objectification operates within the reality of ongoing consent.
During Scenes
The using partner must monitor their toy for signs of distress beyond the scene, physical problems from positioning, and circulation or breathing issues. Toys can't always advocate for themselves—they're in headspace that might prevent clear communication. The user accepts responsibility for safety.
Check in periodically, especially in longer scenes. A simple "color?" requiring only "green," "yellow," or "red" maintains communication without breaking the dynamic significantly.
Implementing the Dynamic
Entering Objectification Space
Rituals help the toy partner transition into object headspace. This might include removing personal items (becoming "impersonal"), specific positions, blindfolds that reduce personhood, or phrases that establish the dynamic. Whatever helps your partner shift from person to object mode.
Types of Use
Objectification might be purely sexual—the toy exists for penetration, oral service, or other direct sexual use. It might also include non-sexual objectification: serving as furniture (holding items, acting as a footrest), existing as decoration, or simply waiting until wanted. The variety of "uses" can be explored over many sessions.
Returning to Personhood
Transitioning out of object space requires care. Gradually reintroduce personal interaction—using their name, making eye contact, asking about their experience. The toy may feel vulnerable, disoriented, or emotionally raw after deep objectification. Warm, patient aftercare helps them return to full personhood feeling valued and connected.
Frequently Asked Questions
Doesn't objectification damage self-worth?
Consensual objectification within a loving relationship typically doesn't harm self-worth—often the opposite. Being wanted intensely enough that a partner desires you as their personal toy can feel affirming. The key is that objectification is a chosen role within a relationship that also includes being valued as a full person.
How do we handle the toy's arousal and pleasure?
Approaches vary. Some couples maintain strict objectification—the toy's pleasure isn't the point and might be ignored entirely. Others use the toy's arousal and orgasm as part of how they "play with" their toy. Discuss preferences: Does the toy want to be denied? Ignored? Used including their pleasure? These are individual preferences.
What if the toy drifts out of headspace?
This happens, especially in longer scenes. The user might notice engagement, questions, or person-behaviors emerging. Gently reinforce objectification—repositioning them, reminding them of their role, or intensifying use. If they can't maintain headspace, the scene might need to end, which is completely fine.
Can this be a regular part of our relationship?
Many couples incorporate objectification regularly. Some have scheduled "toy time," others shift into the dynamic spontaneously. The sustainability depends on both partners finding the dynamic fulfilling. As with all intense practices, balance it with experiences where both are fully present as people.
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