Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Being penetrated with a strap-on worn by a partner. Short Explanation: "Receiving" means you are penetrated by a strap-on; "Giving" means you wear the strap-on for penetration.
Interested in exploring Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) with your partner?
Start Your ChecklistStrap-on play opens up possibilities for penetration regardless of anatomy, allowing any partner to experience giving and receiving penetrative intimacy. For the receiving partner, strap-on penetration offers the potential for deep stimulation and the particular psychological dimensions of being penetrated by a partner wearing a harness.
This form of play breaks down assumptions about which bodies can do what in intimate encounters. It allows for role exploration, fulfills fantasies about specific dynamics, and provides options for couples where traditional penetration isn't possible or desired.
This guide explores strap-on play from the perspective of being penetrated, covering practical considerations, emotional dynamics, safety, and communication. Whether you're curious about receiving strap-on penetration or looking to enhance existing experience, understanding these elements supports better encounters.
How Strap-On Play Works
The penetrating partner wears a harness that holds a dildo in place, then uses body movement to thrust the dildo into the receiving partner. The experience combines physical stimulation with relationship dynamics around who penetrates whom.
Techniques and Variations
Vaginal penetration with a strap-on can target the G-spot with appropriate dildo shape and angle. Different positions—missionary, doggy-style, riding, side-by-side—create different sensations and dynamics.
Anal penetration requires additional preparation and lubricant but offers prostate stimulation for those with prostates and deep penetration sensation for all anatomies. Smaller sizes and more gradual approach typically suit anal compared to vaginal.
Position variations matter significantly. Receiving partner on top allows control over depth and pace. Missionary allows eye contact and intimacy. Doggy-style enables deeper penetration and different angle.
Double-ended toys allow both partners to experience penetration simultaneously, though these require specific harness compatibility or no harness at all.
Equipment and Tools
Quality harnesses provide stable, comfortable dildo attachment. Styles include underwear-style harnesses, jockstrap designs, and minimalist strap systems. Harness material ranges from leather to fabric to silicone.
Dildo selection matters significantly for receiving pleasure. Consider size (start smaller than you think), shape (curved for G-spot or prostate, straight for general), and base compatibility with chosen harness. Body-safe silicone is the gold standard.
Lubricant appropriate for the dildo material and intended use—water-based works universally; silicone-based lasts longer but isn't compatible with silicone toys.
Safety Considerations
Strap-on penetration shares safety considerations with other penetrative activities, with some specific additions.
Physical Safety
Size matters more than ego. Start with smaller dildos than you might imagine you want, especially for anal play. You can always progress to larger; you can't undo injury from too much too soon.
Lubrication is essential. Unlike genitals, dildos don't produce natural lubrication, and the materials create more friction. Use plenty, reapply frequently.
For anal play, specific precautions apply: only use toys with flared bases, progress very gradually, and stop immediately for any pain beyond initial discomfort.
Check equipment before use. Ensure harness straps are secure, dildo is firmly attached, and all materials are in good condition without tears or damage.
Emotional Safety
Being penetrated can carry emotional weight depending on personal history and relationship dynamics. Some people need to process role reversals or new dynamics. Others may have trauma associations with penetration.
First experiences especially benefit from going slowly, communicating frequently, and prioritizing emotional comfort alongside physical pleasure.
Red Flags
Stop for any sharp pain, bleeding, or persistent discomfort. Anal play in particular: pain is a signal to stop, not push through. Post-encounter, any unusual symptoms warrant attention.
Beginner's Guide
Starting with receiving strap-on penetration involves mental preparation, physical relaxation, and gradual exploration.
Communicate your curiosity and any concerns with your partner. Discussing desires and apprehensions before any action helps both partners engage thoughtfully.
Start with smaller dildos than you might ultimately enjoy. Getting comfortable with strap-on dynamics with manageable sizes makes progression to larger options easier and more pleasurable.
Ensure adequate arousal before penetration. Foreplay, external stimulation, and taking time help the body prepare for penetration.
Control the pace yourself initially. Positions where you can control depth and movement—like being on top—allow adjustment based on your comfort and pleasure.
Communicate throughout. Tell your partner what feels good, what you want more of, and what needs adjustment. Strap-on wearers can't feel what's happening inside you; verbal guidance matters significantly.
Discussing with Your Partner
Conversations about being penetrated by a strap-on can touch on vulnerability, desire, and relationship dynamics.
Share what draws you to this experience. Fantasy fulfillment? Wanting to experience what your partner does? Role exploration? Power dynamics? Understanding motivations helps partners engage meaningfully.
Discuss any concerns or nervousness honestly. Whether about physical comfort, emotional dynamics, or performance, voicing concerns creates space for reassurance and planning.
Talk about the desired dynamic. Do you want the encounter to feel similar to other penetrative sex? Different? Dominant? Submissive? Playful? Intimate? Aligning on tone prevents mismatched expectations.
Plan logistics together. What size dildo to start with? What positions to try? How to communicate during? Shared planning creates investment from both partners.
Discuss aftercare needs. Being penetrated can leave people feeling physically and emotionally open—talk about what transition each person needs afterward.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will strap-on penetration hurt?
With proper preparation—arousal, lubrication, appropriate size, gradual insertion—strap-on penetration should feel pleasurable, not painful. Initial sessions may feel unusual as you learn what works for your body. Pain signals something needs adjustment.
What size dildo should we start with?
Smaller than you might think. For vaginal, something around 1-1.5 inches in diameter is often comfortable to start. For anal, even smaller—around 1 inch diameter or less. You can always progress; starting too large makes the experience unpleasant.
Does the wearing partner feel anything?
Without special attachments, the wearing partner doesn't receive direct genital stimulation from thrusting, though the motion and dynamics can still be arousing. Some harnesses accommodate double-ended dildos or provide pressure/vibration to the wearer.
Is this only for same-sex couples?
Absolutely not. Couples of all gender combinations enjoy strap-on play. For heterosexual couples, it offers role reversal opportunities and new sensations. Many straight men discover prostate pleasure through strap-on play with female partners.
How do I relax enough for penetration?
Arousal helps tremendously—take time for other stimulation before penetration. Deep breathing, feeling safe with your partner, and communicating that you control the pace all help. The body's receptivity increases significantly with mental relaxation and physical arousal.
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