Strap-on-dildos (wearing)

How Wearing Strap-Ons Works

A strap-on system consists of two components: a harness that holds everything in place and a dildo that attaches to it. The wearer puts on the harness (strapping it around hips and often thighs), secures a dildo through the O-ring or attachment point, and adjusts everything for stability and comfort. Once secured, the dildo becomes an extension of the wearer's body—responding to their hip movements and positioned for use.

Techniques and Variations

Basic wearing involves selecting appropriate harness and dildo size, putting on the harness (stepping into it like underwear for jock-styles, or wrapping straps around for other designs), inserting the dildo through the O-ring until the base sits flush against the harness, and adjusting straps for a snug, stable fit. The dildo should feel secure without digging into the wearer's body.

Penetration technique with a strap-on differs from biological anatomy. Without nerve feedback from the dildo, wearers rely on visual cues, partner communication, and base-of-toy pressure to gauge depth and angle. Many wearers find a hand on the dildo base helpful during entry to guide positioning. Once established, hip thrusts transfer through the harness to the toy.

Position variations mirror typical intercourse positions but may require adjustment. Missionary lets the wearer control depth and angle. Partner-on-top lets the receiving partner control pace. Doggy-style can be physically demanding for wearers. Side-by-side positions reduce physical exertion. Experiment to find what works for both partners' bodies.

Beyond penetration, wearing a strap-on enables: receiving oral service, visual display and presentation, clothed or partially clothed power dynamics, extended wear under clothing for ongoing awareness, training scenarios for developing penetration skills, and roleplay possibilities enabled by having external anatomy.

Equipment and Tools

Harness styles include: jock-style (straps around waist and legs, leaves buttocks exposed), underwear-style (full coverage, often more comfortable for extended wear), single-strap (one strap between legs), and corset-style (high-waisted, dramatic appearance). Material options include leather (durable, classic look), nylon webbing (easy cleaning, adjustable), and fabric/cotton (comfortable, washable).

O-ring sizing matters—the ring should match your dildo's base diameter for stability. Many harnesses include interchangeable O-rings. Ensure the harness has sufficient adjustment range for your body and allows enough strap tension for vigorous activity without slipping.

Dildos for strap-on use need flared bases that won't slip through the O-ring. Silicone is ideal: body-safe, sterilizable, and available in every size and shape. Length and girth should suit both partners—the receiving partner's comfort and the wearer's ability to wield it effectively. Curved shapes can target specific areas; straight shapes offer straightforward thrusting.

Wearer stimulation options include: double-ended dildos (one end penetrates the wearer), vibrating bases or inserts that sit against the wearer, textured harness interiors that provide friction, and cock ring-style attachments that put pressure on sensitive areas. These additions give wearers direct physical pleasure alongside the psychological satisfaction.

Beginner's Guide

Start with equipment selection. For first-time wearers, a simple jock-style harness with adjustable straps offers straightforward setup and adjustment. Choose a moderately-sized dildo—not too large to wield comfortably, not too small to feel substantial. Having interchangeable O-rings allows experimentation with different toy sizes later.

Practice wearing the harness before partnered play. Put it on, adjust it, walk around, practice hip movements. Get comfortable with how it feels and how the dildo moves with your body. This solo practice prevents fumbling during intimate moments and builds confidence.

First sessions should prioritize exploration over performance. Take time with penetration—maybe don't even attempt it the first time. Let your partner explore the toy with hands or mouth. Practice guiding it manually before relying solely on hip thrusts. Lower pressure makes learning enjoyable rather than stressful.

Communication is your feedback system. Ask explicitly: "How's the angle? Deeper or stay here? Is this pace good?" Your partner's words replace the sensations you'd normally feel. Make this ongoing dialogue normal rather than interrupting—weave it into your intimate connection.

After sessions, discuss what worked. Did the harness stay secure? Was the dildo size appropriate? What positions felt natural? What needed adjustment? This information improves future experiences. Strap-on technique develops over multiple sessions; early awkwardness is normal and fades with practice.

Discussing with Your Partner

Introducing strap-on wear affects both partners significantly. Discuss motivations: Why does wearing a strap-on interest you? What do you hope to experience? Understanding the "why" helps your partner engage with your interest and shapes how you approach the practice together.

Address receiving partner concerns. They may have questions about size preference, pace control, position comfort, or concerns about the dynamic shift when their partner takes a penetrative role. These deserve honest discussion—assumptions lead to disappointing experiences.

Negotiate equipment choices together. Size, shape, and features should work for both partners. The wearer needs something they can manage confidently; the receiving partner needs something that fits their body comfortably. This may require compromise or owning multiple options.

Discuss how this fits your broader intimate life. Will strap-on play be occasional or regular? Part of your standard repertoire or reserved for specific occasions? Will it involve particular dynamics or roleplay? Clarity about integration prevents mismatched expectations.

Plan for ongoing communication. Even after strap-on play becomes familiar, check-ins maintain quality. Bodies change, preferences evolve, and what worked last time may not work today. Keep dialogue open rather than assuming established patterns always satisfy.