Smothering
Covering a partners mouth and nose to restrict airflow, requiring caution. Short Explanation: "Receiving" means you are smothered; "Giving" means you apply the smothering.
Interested in exploring Smothering with your partner?
Start Your ChecklistSmothering is a form of breath control where one partner restricts another's breathing by covering their face or airways with a body part—typically the buttocks, thighs, breasts, or chest. This practice creates intense sensations of helplessness and intimate domination while the dominant partner uses their body to control the submissive's access to air. For many practitioners, the combination of physical intimacy, power exchange, and controlled breathing restriction creates a uniquely intense experience.
This comprehensive guide explores smothering as a consensual practice within BDSM, covering how it works, essential safety protocols (which are critical for this edge play activity), common variations, and approaches to incorporating smothering into your dynamic responsibly. Because smothering involves breath control, understanding the serious risks involved is absolutely essential before exploration.
Smothering is classified as edge play—activities with inherent risks that cannot be fully eliminated. Even with careful practice, accidents can occur. This guide provides risk-reduction information but cannot make smothering fully safe. Practitioners must make informed decisions about accepting irreducible risks.
How Smothering Works
Smothering uses the dominant partner's body to restrict the submissive's breathing, creating sensations of helplessness and intense physical control.
Common Smothering Positions
Face sitting involves the dominant sitting on the submissive's face, using buttocks or genital area to cover airways. This is the most common smothering position, often combining breath control with oral service expectations.
Chest/breast smothering uses the dominant's chest or breasts to cover the submissive's face, pressing into airways while providing surrounding intimacy.
Thigh smothering traps the submissive's face between the dominant's thighs, restricting breathing through compression and coverage.
Pillow/object smothering uses items rather than body parts, though this falls more under suffocation than the body-intimacy focus of classic smothering.
The Experience
For the submissive, smothering creates sensations including restricted breathing (ranging from slight difficulty to complete obstruction), physical helplessness beneath the dominant's weight, intimate engagement with the dominant's body, and the psychological intensity of depending on another for air.
For the dominant, smothering provides tangible power over the submissive's basic survival needs, physical control through body weight, intimate connection with the submissive's face, and the psychological charge of life-and-death control.
The Psychology of Smothering
Smothering appeals through multiple psychological channels: the power dynamic of controlling breath, the physical intimacy of face-to-body contact, the vulnerability of being beneath another's weight, the trust required to allow breathing restriction, and for some, the altered consciousness that oxygen restriction can create.
Safety Considerations
Smothering carries serious risks that cannot be fully eliminated. Understanding these risks is essential for informed consent.
Critical Risks
Asphyxiation is the primary danger. Restricting breathing too long or too completely can cause loss of consciousness, brain damage, or death. These outcomes can occur faster than many people realize—sometimes within seconds of complete airway obstruction.
Positional asphyxia can occur when body position prevents adequate breathing even without direct airway coverage. A submissive pinned under weight may be unable to breathe properly even with nose and mouth technically uncovered.
Panic responses can cause the submissive to struggle violently, potentially causing injury to either partner and making release more difficult.
Silent incapacitation is particularly dangerous—the submissive may lose consciousness without warning, making reliable signaling impossible.
Risk Reduction Practices
Never cover both nose and mouth completely for more than a few seconds. Complete airway obstruction quickly becomes dangerous. Leave partial access to air or limit complete obstruction to very brief intervals.
The dominant maintains constant awareness. Watch for signs of distress beyond agreed signals. Watch skin color, body tension, and responsiveness. Never assume everything is fine without continuous monitoring.
Establish clear signals. Because the submissive's mouth may be covered, verbal safewords may not work. Use tap-out signals (repeated tapping on the dominant's body or floor), agreed hand signals, or holding a dropped object. Multiple redundant signals are ideal.
Maintain immediate release capability. The dominant must be able to shift weight and clear airways within one second. Don't use positions where you can't move quickly.
No bondage that prevents self-rescue. If the submissive cannot push the dominant away or tap out effectively due to restraints, the risk increases dramatically.
Never practice while intoxicated. Alcohol and drugs impair judgment and response time for both partners.
Red Flags Requiring Immediate Stop
Stop immediately and clear airways if you observe: sudden limpness or loss of muscle tension, failure to respond to check-ins, any unusual sounds or sudden silence, skin color changes (pallor, blue/purple tinge), involuntary muscle twitching, or any behavior change suggesting consciousness issues.
Beginner's Guide to Smothering
Approaching smothering requires exceptional caution given its inherent risks.
Step 1: Understand the risks. Before any practice, both partners must understand that smothering is edge play with irreducible risks. Informed consent requires knowing that accidents can happen even with careful practice.
Step 2: Start with simulation. Initial exploration should involve positions and movements without actual breathing restriction. Practice the positions, discuss sensations, and establish signals before adding breath control elements.
Step 3: Begin with very brief restriction. First breath restriction attempts should last only a few seconds. Establish that signals work, that the dominant can release quickly, and that both partners handle the intensity appropriately.
Step 4: Leave air access. Early smothering should leave partial access to air—covering most of the face but not sealing completely. This reduces risk while building experience with the dynamic.
Step 5: Establish multiple signals. Create redundant systems—tapping, hand signals, and physical movements that indicate different levels of need ("more air," "stop completely," etc.). Practice these before incorporating into actual scenes.
Step 6: Dominants control duration. Don't rely on submissive signals alone. The dominant should limit restriction duration based on their own awareness, not waiting for the submissive to signal. Release proactively rather than reactively.
Step 7: Build duration very gradually. If extending restriction periods, do so incrementally over many sessions. Watch for any concerning signs and err on the side of less rather than more.
Step 8: Never push through concerning signs. Any indication of problems requires immediate stop. Resume only after confirming wellbeing and adjusting approach. No scene is worth risking lasting harm.
Discussing Smothering with Your Partner
Conversations about smothering must address both the appeal and the serious risks involved.
If smothering interests you, share both the desire and your understanding of risks. "I'm curious about face sitting/smothering. I know it's edge play with real dangers, and I want to discuss whether exploring it carefully might work for us." This framing demonstrates responsibility.
Discuss specific appeal. Is it the power dynamic? The physical intimacy? The breath control element? The sensation? Understanding what draws you to smothering helps evaluate whether the risks are worth the specific experience you're seeking.
Be honest about concerns. Either partner may have reservations about safety, comfort, or interest. These concerns deserve respectful engagement. Smothering isn't for everyone, and declining is entirely valid.
If both partners are interested, plan thoroughly before any practice. Discuss specific positions, signal systems, duration limits, and emergency responses. Create explicit agreements about risk acceptance. Ensure both partners understand what they're consenting to.
Acknowledge ongoing negotiation. As you gain experience, you'll learn more about what works and what doesn't. Maintain open communication throughout your exploration, adjusting approaches based on what you discover.
Consider the irreducible risk together. Some couples decide the risks of breath play activities are unacceptable regardless of attraction. Others accept the risk after careful consideration. This is a personal decision that each partnership must make knowingly.
Frequently Asked Questions
How dangerous is smothering compared to other breath play?
All breath play carries serious risk, but smothering has some risk-reduction advantages: it uses body rather than objects (reducing strangulation risk), often leaves partial air access, and the dominant's position allows them to release quickly. However, it also involves body weight that could impede quick release, and the submissive may be physically trapped. No breath play is safe—only risk-reduced.
What if the submissive can't tap out because they're too overwhelmed?
This scenario is why dominant vigilance matters more than submissive signals. Never rely solely on the submissive to indicate need for air. The dominant should control duration proactively, watching for signs of distress and releasing before signals become necessary. Consider smothering without bondage so the submissive can physically push if needed.
Can smothering cause lasting harm even if nothing seems wrong?
Yes. Repeated oxygen restriction can cause cumulative damage even without acute incidents. Microinjuries to brain tissue, cardiac stress, and other subtle harms may accumulate over time. This is why many harm reduction guidelines emphasize minimal restriction duration and frequency even when individual instances seem fine.
What's the appeal of smothering specifically versus other breath play?
Smothering uniquely combines breath control with intense physical intimacy—face pressed against the dominant's body, weight bearing down, the smell and feel of skin. For many, this body-to-body element creates a different experience than hands or objects restricting breath. The power dynamic of being controlled by body weight rather than tools also appeals to some.
Should I learn CPR before practicing smothering?
Yes. Anyone engaging in breath play should know CPR and ideally have emergency training. Knowing how to respond if something goes wrong could save a life. However, knowing CPR doesn't make smothering safe—prevention is far more important than emergency response.
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