Communication Guide

Yes/No/Maybe List: The Free Printable Kink List

A Yes/No/Maybe list is a private kink communication tool. Each partner rates a list of BDSM and kink activities as Yes (interested), Maybe (curious or open under conditions), or No (not for me). After both partners finish independently, the lists are compared side by side — and only the activities both said Yes to are revealed.

The Four Ratings, Explained

Rating	What it means	Example	When to revisit
Yes	You actively want to try it.	"I want to do this with my partner."	Whenever both partners said Yes — start here.
Maybe	Curious or open under specific conditions.	"With more trust / a safeword / not yet."	After building experience or after a conversation about conditions.
No	Not for you right now.	"This isn't appealing to me at this time."	Re-rate every 6–12 months — interests evolve.
Hard Limit	Absolute No. Non-negotiable.	"I will never do this under any circumstances."	Never. Hard Limits are respected without discussion.

The Yes/No/Maybe List (510+ activities)

Mark every activity Y (yes), M (maybe) or N (no). Fill it out separately from your partner, then compare. Prefer not to print? Rate it online and only the activities you both said Yes to are revealed.

Bodily Fluids and Functions (17)

Activity	Y	M	N
Chamber pot use	☐	☐	☐
Creampie	☐	☐	☐
Cum - In ass	☐	☐	☐
Cum - In mouth	☐	☐	☐
Cum - In vagina	☐	☐	☐
Cum - On body	☐	☐	☐
Cutting - Blood play	☐	☐	☐
Golden showers (urinate on)	☐	☐	☐
Human Toilet	☐	☐	☐
Injections (Saline)	☐	☐	☐
Milking (made to produce breast milk)	☐	☐	☐
Pearl necklace (cum on chest/throat)	☐	☐	☐
Pearl shower (cum on face)	☐	☐	☐
Rimming (oral/anal play)	☐	☐	☐
Scat (brown showers)	☐	☐	☐
Swallowing semen	☐	☐	☐
Swallowing urine	☐	☐	☐

Bondage (83)

Activity	Y	M	N
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)	☐	☐	☐
Arms	☐	☐	☐
Arms Restraint	☐	☐	☐
Blindfolding	☐	☐	☐
Blindfolds	☐	☐	☐
Bondage - All day/multi day	☐	☐	☐
Bondage - Heavy	☐	☐	☐
Bondage - Light	☐	☐	☐
Bondage Opera Gloves	☐	☐	☐
Bondage Public, under clothing	☐	☐	☐
Bondage Restraints	☐	☐	☐
Bondage Sensory Deprivation	☐	☐	☐
Bondage With Soft Restraints	☐	☐	☐
Breast bondage	☐	☐	☐
Cages/Cells/Closets - Locked inside	☐	☐	☐
Chains	☐	☐	☐
Chastity Devices	☐	☐	☐
Chest Harness	☐	☐	☐
Cockrings	☐	☐	☐
Collar Locking	☐	☐	☐
Containment (Caging / Cells)	☐	☐	☐
Cotton Rope	☐	☐	☐
Cuffs - Leather	☐	☐	☐
Duration	☐	☐	☐
Ear plugs (sound deprivation)	☐	☐	☐
Full Body	☐	☐	☐
Full head hoods	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Ball	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Bit	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Cloth	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Inflatable	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Phallic	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Ring	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Rubber	☐	☐	☐
Gags - Tape	☐	☐	☐
Genital Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Hair	☐	☐	☐
Handcuffs	☐	☐	☐
Harnessing - Leather	☐	☐	☐
Harnessing - Rope	☐	☐	☐
Hemp Rope	☐	☐	☐
Immobilisation	☐	☐	☐
Intricate Rope / Shibari	☐	☐	☐
Leash	☐	☐	☐
Leather restraints	☐	☐	☐
Legs	☐	☐	☐
Manacles & Irons	☐	☐	☐
Mental Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Mouth bits	☐	☐	☐
multi-day	☐	☐	☐
Mummification	☐	☐	☐
Muzzles	☐	☐	☐
Nose Hooks	☐	☐	☐
Nose Leashes	☐	☐	☐
Nylon Rope	☐	☐	☐
Predicament	☐	☐	☐
Predicament Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Public bondage, under clothing	☐	☐	☐
Public bondage, visible	☐	☐	☐
Restraint 0-1 hour	☐	☐	☐
Restraint 3+ hours	☐	☐	☐
Restraint full day or overnight	☐	☐	☐
Restraint multi-day	☐	☐	☐
Rope body harness	☐	☐	☐
Rope Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Rope bondage - Japanese Style	☐	☐	☐
Rope bondage - Simple	☐	☐	☐
Shibari	☐	☐	☐
short term	☐	☐	☐
Sleep sacks	☐	☐	☐
Slings	☐	☐	☐
Spreader Bars	☐	☐	☐
Stocks (head & hands)	☐	☐	☐
Straight jackets	☐	☐	☐
Stress Positions	☐	☐	☐
Suspension	☐	☐	☐
Suspension - Horizontal	☐	☐	☐
Suspension - Inverted	☐	☐	☐
Suspension - Upright	☐	☐	☐
Suspension (Sex Swing)	☐	☐	☐
Suspension Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Tape Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Zip ties	☐	☐	☐

Dominance and Submission (129)

Activity	Y	M	N
24 Hours a Day/7 Days a Week	☐	☐	☐
Animal Play (pet, dog, horse, etc)	☐	☐	☐
Bathroom Use Control	☐	☐	☐
Bedroom Only Control	☐	☐	☐
Begging	☐	☐	☐
Behavior Restriction	☐	☐	☐
Being a sex slave	☐	☐	☐
Being prostituted	☐	☐	☐
Being used/treated as a sex toy	☐	☐	☐
Bimbofication	☐	☐	☐
Blackmail	☐	☐	☐
Body control	☐	☐	☐
Body Modification	☐	☐	☐
Body Pose / Position Protocol	☐	☐	☐
Body Weight Control	☐	☐	☐
Body worship	☐	☐	☐
Boot Blacking / shoe shining	☐	☐	☐
Burping	☐	☐	☐
Chastity	☐	☐	☐
Chauffeuring	☐	☐	☐
Chores (domestic service)	☐	☐	☐
Clothing Chosen	☐	☐	☐
Collar (private)	☐	☐	☐
Collar (public)	☐	☐	☐
Collar (semi-private / events)	☐	☐	☐
Collar and Leash	☐	☐	☐
Competition	☐	☐	☐
Consensual Non-consent	☐	☐	☐
Corsets (trained waist reduction)	☐	☐	☐
Crawling	☐	☐	☐
Cuckold Scenes	☐	☐	☐
Cum Eating	☐	☐	☐
Day to Day Control	☐	☐	☐
Discipline	☐	☐	☐
Discreet Public Play (less obvious to others)	☐	☐	☐
Emasculation	☐	☐	☐
Erotic Dance (Audience)	☐	☐	☐
Erotic Dance (Private)	☐	☐	☐
Escaping Bondage	☐	☐	☐
Exercise Requirements	☐	☐	☐
Eye Contact Restriction	☐	☐	☐
Face Sitting	☐	☐	☐
Feet / Leg	☐	☐	☐
Food Chosen	☐	☐	☐
Forced Bedwetting	☐	☐	☐
Forced Bi-Sexuality	☐	☐	☐
Forced Crossdressing	☐	☐	☐
Forced Exercise	☐	☐	☐
Forced Nudity	☐	☐	☐
Forced Orgasms	☐	☐	☐
Forced Pants Wetting	☐	☐	☐
Genuflecting	☐	☐	☐
Honorifics	☐	☐	☐
Humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Insults	☐	☐	☐
Isolation	☐	☐	☐
Journal / Blogging Duty	☐	☐	☐
Kneeling	☐	☐	☐
Loaned to Others for Service	☐	☐	☐
Loaned to Others for Sex	☐	☐	☐
Manicures	☐	☐	☐
Marking	☐	☐	☐
Master/Mistress/slave	☐	☐	☐
Micromanaging	☐	☐	☐
Micromanaging (Clothing)	☐	☐	☐
Micromanaging (Food)	☐	☐	☐
Mono/Poly Arrangement	☐	☐	☐
Obedience	☐	☐	☐
Objectification	☐	☐	☐
Orders	☐	☐	☐
Pegging	☐	☐	☐
Pet Play	☐	☐	☐
Playing together with other subs	☐	☐	☐
Poses (Exposure, Embarrassing, etc)	☐	☐	☐
Power Exchange	☐	☐	☐
Power exchange / Protocol	☐	☐	☐
Power Exchange Protocols	☐	☐	☐
Power Exchange Roleplay	☐	☐	☐
Protocols	☐	☐	☐
Protocols (High)	☐	☐	☐
Public Humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Punishment Dynamic	☐	☐	☐
pussy	☐	☐	☐
Put on Display	☐	☐	☐
Ravishment Play (Group)	☐	☐	☐
Ravishment Play (Rape Play)	☐	☐	☐
Removal of Privacy	☐	☐	☐
Reprimands	☐	☐	☐
Ritual	☐	☐	☐
Ritual and Ceremony	☐	☐	☐
Ruined Orgasms	☐	☐	☐
Rules	☐	☐	☐
Sensory deprivation	☐	☐	☐
Service	☐	☐	☐
Service Submission	☐	☐	☐
Serving as a candleholder	☐	☐	☐
Serving as Art	☐	☐	☐
Serving as Ashtray	☐	☐	☐
Serving as Furniture	☐	☐	☐
Serving as Toilet	☐	☐	☐
Serving others	☐	☐	☐
Sexual deprivation (long term)	☐	☐	☐
Sexual deprivation (short term)	☐	☐	☐
Sexual Humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Sexual Inadequacy Humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Slave Auctions	☐	☐	☐
Slave Positions	☐	☐	☐
Sleeping Conditions Chosen	☐	☐	☐
Slut Training	☐	☐	☐
Slutty Clothing (Private)	☐	☐	☐
Slutty Clothing (Public)	☐	☐	☐
Small Penis Humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Speech Restriction / Protocol	☐	☐	☐
Standing in corner	☐	☐	☐
Struggling / Resistance	☐	☐	☐
Subspace Exploration	☐	☐	☐
Symbolic Jewellery	☐	☐	☐
Tasks	☐	☐	☐
Tea Service	☐	☐	☐
Total Power Exchange	☐	☐	☐
Training	☐	☐	☐
Trust Building Exercises	☐	☐	☐
Verbal Humiliation (Private)	☐	☐	☐
Verbal Humiliation (Public)	☐	☐	☐
Watching Bathroom Activities	☐	☐	☐
with other subs/slaves	☐	☐	☐
with others	☐	☐	☐
with self	☐	☐	☐
Worship	☐	☐	☐

Fetishes (19)

Activity	Y	M	N
Boot worship	☐	☐	☐
Cock worship	☐	☐	☐
Corsets	☐	☐	☐
Cross dressing	☐	☐	☐
Diapers	☐	☐	☐
Feet	☐	☐	☐
Foot worship	☐	☐	☐
Gas Masks	☐	☐	☐
High heel worship	☐	☐	☐
High heels (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Leather (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Leather clothing	☐	☐	☐
Lingerie (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Masks	☐	☐	☐
Pussy worship	☐	☐	☐
Rubber/latex clothing (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Slutty clothing	☐	☐	☐
Spandex clothing	☐	☐	☐
Underwear	☐	☐	☐

Humiliation (18)

Activity	Y	M	N
Forced dressing	☐	☐	☐
Forced feminization	☐	☐	☐
Forced homosexuality	☐	☐	☐
Forced servitude	☐	☐	☐
Humiliation in private	☐	☐	☐
Humiliation in public	☐	☐	☐
Lecturing for misbehaviors	☐	☐	☐
Objectification (art, furniture...)	☐	☐	☐
Public exposure	☐	☐	☐
Sexy clothing (private)	☐	☐	☐
Sexy clothing (public)	☐	☐	☐
Shaving (body hair)	☐	☐	☐
Shaving head hair	☐	☐	☐
Shaving or depilation of body hair	☐	☐	☐
Spitting	☐	☐	☐
Standing in corner (punishment)	☐	☐	☐
Verbal humiliation	☐	☐	☐
Washing mouth out with soap	☐	☐	☐

Impact/Sensation Play (61)

Activity	Y	M	N
Anal Beads / Balls	☐	☐	☐
Anal Hook	☐	☐	☐
Anal Plugs	☐	☐	☐
Animal Tail Anal Plugs	☐	☐	☐
Ball Crushers	☐	☐	☐
Bells	☐	☐	☐
Belts	☐	☐	☐
Breast whipping	☐	☐	☐
Canes	☐	☐	☐
Caning - English	☐	☐	☐
Caning - Sensation	☐	☐	☐
Cat-O-Nine-Tails	☐	☐	☐
Claws	☐	☐	☐
Clothespins	☐	☐	☐
Clubs	☐	☐	☐
Crops	☐	☐	☐
Dildos	☐	☐	☐
Dragon Tails	☐	☐	☐
E-Stim Kits	☐	☐	☐
Face Slapping	☐	☐	☐
Feathers / Ticklers	☐	☐	☐
Floggers	☐	☐	☐
Genital Weights	☐	☐	☐
Guns	☐	☐	☐
Knives	☐	☐	☐
Labia Clamps	☐	☐	☐
Leather straps	☐	☐	☐
Mirrors	☐	☐	☐
Nipple Clamps – Adjustable	☐	☐	☐
Nipple Clamps – Clover	☐	☐	☐
Nipple toys	☐	☐	☐
Nipple Weights	☐	☐	☐
Paddles	☐	☐	☐
Pussy kicking	☐	☐	☐
Pussy punching	☐	☐	☐
Pussy spanking	☐	☐	☐
Pussy whipping	☐	☐	☐
Riding crops	☐	☐	☐
Scratching with nails	☐	☐	☐
Scrotum Parachutes / Stretchers	☐	☐	☐
Single Tail Whips	☐	☐	☐
Slappers / Straps	☐	☐	☐
Spanking	☐	☐	☐
Spanking - Hairbrush	☐	☐	☐
Spanking - Hand	☐	☐	☐
Spanking - Leather slappers	☐	☐	☐
Spanking - Over The Knee	☐	☐	☐
Spanking - Wooden paddles	☐	☐	☐
Strap-On Harnesses	☐	☐	☐
Strapping - Full body beating	☐	☐	☐
Stroking (lightly)	☐	☐	☐
Urethral Sounds	☐	☐	☐
Vaginal Hook	☐	☐	☐
Vibrators - Insertable	☐	☐	☐
Vibrators – Wands	☐	☐	☐
Violet Wands	☐	☐	☐
Wartenberg Pinwheels	☐	☐	☐
Whipping - Belt	☐	☐	☐
Whipping - Cat o' 9 tails	☐	☐	☐
Whipping - Flogger	☐	☐	☐
Whipping - Single tail	☐	☐	☐

Marking (4)

Activity	Y	M	N
Scarification (cutting, making scars)	☐	☐	☐
Tattoo/Branding as Sign of Ownership	☐	☐	☐
Tattooing (inking)	☐	☐	☐
Temporary (Pen or Lipstick)	☐	☐	☐

Non-monogamy (7)

Activity	Y	M	N
Fantasy gang rape	☐	☐	☐
Group play - Multiple men "gang bang"	☐	☐	☐
Group play - Multiple women & men	☐	☐	☐
Group play - Orgy	☐	☐	☐
Shared (given to another only temp)	☐	☐	☐
Swapping (with one other couple)	☐	☐	☐
Swinging (multiple couples)	☐	☐	☐

Role Play (23)

Activity	Y	M	N
Age play (not pedophilia)	☐	☐	☐
Animal roleplay	☐	☐	☐
Fantasy abandonment	☐	☐	☐
Fear play	☐	☐	☐
Gang bang	☐	☐	☐
Human puppy-dog play	☐	☐	☐
Infantilism (baby play)	☐	☐	☐
Initiation rites	☐	☐	☐
Interrogation	☐	☐	☐
Kidnapping	☐	☐	☐
Medical scenes	☐	☐	☐
Name change	☐	☐	☐
Other roleplaying	☐	☐	☐
Pony play	☐	☐	☐
Prison scenes	☐	☐	☐
Prostitution fantasy	☐	☐	☐
Psych ward play	☐	☐	☐
Rape	☐	☐	☐
Religious scenes	☐	☐	☐
Role Playing Light	☐	☐	☐
Schoolroom scenes	☐	☐	☐
Switching roles (Top/bottom)	☐	☐	☐
Total Power Exchange (TPE)	☐	☐	☐

Sado-Masochism (38)

Activity	Y	M	N
Abrasion	☐	☐	☐
Bastinado (feet torture)	☐	☐	☐
Biting	☐	☐	☐
Branding	☐	☐	☐
Breast torture w/pins-clips, etc.	☐	☐	☐
Breath Play	☐	☐	☐
Bruising	☐	☐	☐
Choking	☐	☐	☐
Choking – Arterial	☐	☐	☐
Choking – Windpipe	☐	☐	☐
Cupping / Suction	☐	☐	☐
Cutting	☐	☐	☐
Dilation – Anal	☐	☐	☐
Dilation – Vaginal	☐	☐	☐
Electric Play	☐	☐	☐
Enemas	☐	☐	☐
Fire Play	☐	☐	☐
Gagging	☐	☐	☐
Gagging (fingers or similar means)	☐	☐	☐
Gagging During Oral	☐	☐	☐
Genital Torture	☐	☐	☐
Hair Pulling	☐	☐	☐
Hot Wax Play	☐	☐	☐
Ice / Cold Play	☐	☐	☐
Knife Play (non-cutting)	☐	☐	☐
Nipple Torture	☐	☐	☐
Piercing	☐	☐	☐
Pinching	☐	☐	☐
Punching / Beating	☐	☐	☐
Pussy/cunt slapping / whipping	☐	☐	☐
Scratching	☐	☐	☐
Sexual Asphyxiation	☐	☐	☐
Smothering	☐	☐	☐
Tickling	☐	☐	☐
Trampling	☐	☐	☐
Verbal Abuse	☐	☐	☐
Water Torture	☐	☐	☐
Wrestling	☐	☐	☐

Sensation Play (1)

Activity	Y	M	N
Sensory Play	☐	☐	☐

Service & Restricted/Controlled Behavior (27)

Activity	Y	M	N
Auctioned for charity	☐	☐	☐
Bathroom use control (permission)	☐	☐	☐
Chauffeuring (driving)	☐	☐	☐
Chores (domestic service/housework)	☐	☐	☐
Chosen clothing for	☐	☐	☐
Chosen food for	☐	☐	☐
Contract slave	☐	☐	☐
Daily diary	☐	☐	☐
Erotic dancing	☐	☐	☐
Exercise - Forced/required	☐	☐	☐
Following orders	☐	☐	☐
Gor Slave Training (positions)	☐	☐	☐
Harems (serving with other subs)	☐	☐	☐
Hypnotism	☐	☐	☐
Learned postures	☐	☐	☐
Mantra and meditation	☐	☐	☐
Pedicures & foot massages	☐	☐	☐
Personality modification	☐	☐	☐
Restrictive rules on behaviour	☐	☐	☐
Rituals	☐	☐	☐
Serving as a maid	☐	☐	☐
Serving other Doms (supervised only)	☐	☐	☐
Speech restrictions (when, what, to whom)	☐	☐	☐
Uniform (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Washroom restrictions	☐	☐	☐
Wearing symbolic jewelry	☐	☐	☐
Weight control	☐	☐	☐

Sexual Practices (76)

Activity	Y	M	N
69 Position	☐	☐	☐
Anal beads	☐	☐	☐
Anal play	☐	☐	☐
Anal plugs - Large	☐	☐	☐
Anal plugs - Medium	☐	☐	☐
Anal Plugs - Public (Under Clothes)	☐	☐	☐
Anal plugs - Small	☐	☐	☐
Anal sex	☐	☐	☐
Breast fucking	☐	☐	☐
Breast Sex	☐	☐	☐
Catheterization	☐	☐	☐
Cumming on Partner	☐	☐	☐
Deepthroating	☐	☐	☐
Dildos - Anal	☐	☐	☐
Dildos - Oral	☐	☐	☐
Dildos - Vaginal	☐	☐	☐
Dirty Talk	☐	☐	☐
Double Penetration – Human	☐	☐	☐
Double Penetration – Toys	☐	☐	☐
Double penetration (anal and vaginal)	☐	☐	☐
Double penetration (oral and anal)	☐	☐	☐
Fantasy rape play	☐	☐	☐
Fellatio/Cunnilingus	☐	☐	☐
Fingering / Hand-jobs	☐	☐	☐
Fisting - Anal	☐	☐	☐
Fisting - Vaginal	☐	☐	☐
Forced masturbation	☐	☐	☐
French kissing (with tongue)	☐	☐	☐
Genital sex	☐	☐	☐
Genital Stroking / Rubbing	☐	☐	☐
Group Sex	☐	☐	☐
Hand jobs	☐	☐	☐
Kissing mouth (on lips)	☐	☐	☐
Kissing on body	☐	☐	☐
Licking (body)	☐	☐	☐
Massage	☐	☐	☐
Massage Sensual	☐	☐	☐
Masturbation being watched	☐	☐	☐
Oral Sex	☐	☐	☐
Oral/anal play (rimming)	☐	☐	☐
Orgasm control	☐	☐	☐
Orgasm denial	☐	☐	☐
Outdoor sex	☐	☐	☐
Petting / Stroking Hair	☐	☐	☐
Phone sex (with others)	☐	☐	☐
Phone sex (with partner)	☐	☐	☐
Prostrate stimulation	☐	☐	☐
Rimming	☐	☐	☐
Rimming / Anal Licking	☐	☐	☐
Sex Machines – Handheld	☐	☐	☐
Sex Machines – Stationary	☐	☐	☐
Sex Toys	☐	☐	☐
Sexual Body Fluids – Consuming	☐	☐	☐
Sexual Body Fluids – on body	☐	☐	☐
Sexual deprivation	☐	☐	☐
Sounding	☐	☐	☐
Speculums	☐	☐	☐
Spitting - In mouth	☐	☐	☐
Spitting – external	☐	☐	☐
Squirting	☐	☐	☐
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)	☐	☐	☐
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)	☐	☐	☐
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)	☐	☐	☐
Tantric sex	☐	☐	☐
Tease and Denial	☐	☐	☐
Teasing	☐	☐	☐
Threesome - All same Sex	☐	☐	☐
Threesome - M, F, F	☐	☐	☐
Threesome - M, M, F	☐	☐	☐
Triple penetration	☐	☐	☐
Triple Penetration – Toys	☐	☐	☐
Vaginal Sex	☐	☐	☐
Vaginal Toys	☐	☐	☐
Vibrator - Anal	☐	☐	☐
Vibrator - External genital	☐	☐	☐
Vibrator - Internal genital	☐	☐	☐

Voyeurism/Exhibitionism (11)

Activity	Y	M	N
Examinations	☐	☐	☐
Exhibitionism (friends)	☐	☐	☐
Exhibitionism (strangers)	☐	☐	☐
Forced nudity (around others)	☐	☐	☐
Forced nudity (private)	☐	☐	☐
Modeling for erotic photos	☐	☐	☐
Outdoor scenes	☐	☐	☐
Video (recordings of you)	☐	☐	☐
Video (watching others)	☐	☐	☐
Voyeurism (watching others)	☐	☐	☐
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)	☐	☐	☐

How to Use a Yes/No/Maybe List With Your Partner

Fill out separately

Each partner rates the list privately, without seeing the other's answers. Honesty matters more than how you think it will look.

Compare side by side

Match Yeses with Yeses. Those overlaps are your shared green zone — the safe place to start exploring together.

Talk about Maybes

Maybes are conversations, not rejections. Ask what conditions would turn a Maybe into a Yes. Hard Limits and Nos are respected without pressure.

Why a Yes/No/Maybe List Works

Most kink conversations stall on the same wall: "How do I bring this up without making it weird?" A Yes/No/Maybe list moves the conversation from speech to checkboxes — you don't have to explain anything out loud, you just rate.

Because both partners fill it out privately and only the overlaps are revealed, no one has to confess interest in something the other hasn't already said Yes to. That removes the social cost of being the first to ask, which is the single biggest reason couples stay quiet about kink.

It also captures the full distribution of comfort — not just "yes I want this" versus "no I don't", but "I'd be open to this with the right setup". Most desire lives in the Maybe column, and a structured list is the only way to surface it without pressure.

Take the free Yes/No/Maybe list

130+ BDSM and kink activities. Rate them privately. Compare with your partner. See only the overlaps.

Start your free list

No signup required to start. Free to invite a partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Yes/No/Maybe list?

A Yes/No/Maybe list is a private kink communication tool. Each partner rates a list of BDSM and kink activities as Yes (interested), Maybe (curious or open under conditions), or No (not for me) — sometimes with a fourth column for Hard Limit (absolutely never). After both partners finish independently, the lists are compared side by side.

What is the difference between a Yes/No/Maybe list and a kink checklist?

A kink checklist is a list of activities you check off; a Yes/No/Maybe list adds a rating scale to every activity. Kink Checklist combines both — you get a comprehensive list of 130+ activities and rate each one on a Yes/Maybe/No scale, with optional Give/Receive distinction.

What is a Hard Limit on a Yes/No/Maybe list?

A Hard Limit is an absolute No — an activity that is off the table under any circumstances and is non-negotiable. It is different from a regular No, which can shift over time as comfort and trust grow. Hard Limits should be respected without discussion or pressure.

What is a soft limit?

A soft limit is an activity you are not currently willing to do, but you are open to revisiting it under specific conditions or after building more trust and experience. It usually overlaps with the Maybe column on a Yes/No/Maybe list and is a normal part of healthy kink negotiation.

How do you use a Yes/No/Maybe list with your partner?

Each partner fills out the list independently and privately, without seeing the other's answers. Once both are done, you compare the lists and look for overlaps — activities both partners rated Yes are the natural starting point. Maybes become conversations. Nos and Hard Limits are respected without negotiation.

Is the Kink Checklist Yes/No/Maybe list free?

Yes. Kink Checklist is 100% free with no signup required for the public checklist. An optional free account lets you save your list and invite a partner to compare answers privately, with the site only revealing activities you both rated Yes.

Browse all activities

130+ BDSM and kink activities organized into 14 categories.

How Kink Checklist works

A free Yes/No/Maybe list — rate, invite, compare, only overlaps revealed.