Sex Toys
Using toys and devices to enhance sexual pleasure and exploration.
Interested in exploring Sex Toys with your partner?
Start Your ChecklistSex toys have transformed from taboo objects into mainstream tools for pleasure and intimacy. Whether you're looking to enhance solo sessions, add variety to partnered play, or explore sensations impossible to create with bodies alone, today's market offers something for every interest level and budget.
For couples, toys open doors to shared exploration—discovering what brings each other pleasure, experimenting with new sensations, and building a toolkit that grows with your relationship. The right toy, introduced thoughtfully, can deepen intimacy rather than replace it.
This comprehensive guide covers the essential categories of sex toys, how to choose quality products safely, incorporating toys into partnered play, and having productive conversations about adding them to your intimate life.
How Sex Toys Work
Sex toys provide stimulation that ranges from mimicking human touch to delivering sensations entirely unique to mechanical or electronic devices. Understanding categories helps you find toys aligned with your interests.
Types and Variations
Vibrators: Perhaps the most versatile category, vibrators deliver oscillating stimulation at various intensities and patterns.
- Bullet vibrators: Small, focused stimulation
- Wand massagers: Powerful, broad stimulation
- Rabbit-style: Combined internal and external stimulation
- Couples' vibrators: Worn during intercourse
Dildos: Non-vibrating insertable toys in countless shapes and sizes, from realistic to abstract.
Strokers: Textured sleeves designed for penis stimulation, ranging from simple to sophisticated motorized options.
Anal toys: Specifically designed with flared bases for safe anal play—plugs, beads, and prostate massagers.
Couples' toys: Designed for shared use, including remote-controlled vibrators, cock rings with vibration, and toys worn during intercourse.
Materials and Quality
Body-safe materials matter significantly:
- Medical-grade silicone: Non-porous, hypoallergenic, easy to clean—the gold standard
- Stainless steel: Durable, temperature-responsive, body-safe
- Glass: Hypoallergenic, easy to clean, beautiful aesthetics
- ABS plastic: Body-safe for external use, common in bullet vibrators
- Avoid: Jelly rubber, PVC, and anything with chemical smells—these can harbor bacteria and contain harmful chemicals
Safety Considerations
Toy safety encompasses material choice, hygiene practices, and appropriate use for each body area.
Physical Safety
- Anal toys must have flared bases: The rectum can draw objects inward; never use toys designed for vaginal use anally
- Start smaller: Especially for insertable toys, begin with modest sizes
- Use appropriate lubricant: Silicone lube damages silicone toys; use water-based lube with silicone toys
- Inspect before use: Check for cracks, tears, or motor malfunctions
- Don't share without barriers: Use condoms on shared toys or clean thoroughly between partners
Cleaning and Storage
- Non-porous toys (silicone, steel, glass): Wash with soap and water; can be boiled or dishwasher-sanitized
- Porous toys: Clean thoroughly and consider using condoms to extend life
- Store in clean, dust-free containers; keep silicone toys separated as they can react with each other
- Replace toys that show wear, especially if materials become sticky or discolored
Red Flags
Stop use and replace if you notice:
- Chemical or plasticky smells
- Sticky or tacky texture developing
- Visible damage or degradation
- Any irritation or allergic reaction
Beginner's Guide
Entering the world of sex toys can feel overwhelming given the variety available. Here's how to start thoughtfully:
First purchase: Consider versatile, body-safe options that don't require a major investment. A quality bullet vibrator or small silicone toy offers exploration without commitment to specific sensations.
Research before buying: Read reviews from trusted sources. Communities like r/sextoys offer honest feedback. Look for body-safe materials and reliable brands.
Budget wisely: Inexpensive toys often use questionable materials. Mid-range options from reputable brands offer safety without premium prices. Consider it an investment in your pleasure and health.
Start solo: Before incorporating toys with a partner, explore on your own. Understanding what you enjoy makes shared experiences more rewarding.
With a partner: Introduce toys as additions to your existing intimacy, not replacements. Use toys on each other to maintain connection. Communicate throughout—what feels good, what doesn't, what you want more of.
Build gradually: You don't need a collection immediately. Add toys as you discover specific interests and needs.
Discussing with Your Partner
Bringing up sex toys requires sensitivity, as partners may have varied reactions based on their experiences, beliefs, or insecurities.
Frame the conversation positively—toys enhance intimacy rather than indicate dissatisfaction. You might say something like, "I've been curious about trying toys together. What do you think about exploring that?"
Address common concerns directly:
- "Am I not enough?" Emphasize that toys add variety, not replacement. Partners bring emotional connection that no toy replicates.
- "That's weird/shameful" Normalize that millions of couples use toys; it's simply another form of pleasure.
- "I wouldn't know what to buy" Offer to research together or visit a shop as a couple.
If your partner isn't interested, respect that boundary. Preferences can change over time, or they may simply not share this interest—both are valid.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's a good first sex toy for couples?
A simple vibrator offers versatility—it can be used during foreplay, intercourse, or solo. Look for body-safe silicone with multiple vibration settings. Couples' vibrators designed to be worn during sex are another popular choice.
How much should I spend?
Quality body-safe toys typically start around $30-50. Very cheap toys often use questionable materials. Premium brands cost more but offer better materials, motors, and warranties. Start mid-range and invest more as you identify preferences.
Can toys desensitize you?
Using very powerful vibrators exclusively may temporarily reduce sensitivity, but this reverses with breaks. Varying intensity and alternating with other stimulation prevents any lasting effects.
Where should I buy toys?
Reputable online retailers with good return policies and material transparency are reliable. In-person shops allow you to see products; look for clean, well-lit stores with knowledgeable staff. Avoid gas stations, dollar stores, and sketchy websites.
How do I clean and store toys?
Wash with warm water and mild soap after each use. Non-porous toys can be sanitized by boiling. Store in clean cloth bags or containers, keeping silicone toys separated. Let toys dry completely before storing.
Discover What You Both Desire
Create your personal checklist and compare with your partner to find activities you'll both enjoy exploring together.
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